The wonder of human relationships.

A rich and varied social life is an often underestimated factor when it comes to success, happiness and personal growth. The reason for this is that connecting with other people not only fulfills us as human beings, but can also open up unimagined possibilities.

People can help you with inspiration, contacts or active support to turn your own wishes and ideas into reality. You can create collaborations with people that help you move forward, and people know other people. A varied social life broadens the horizon of your possibilities, and quite a few success stories originate from the meeting of two people who have decided to realize their dreams together.

In order for you to take advantage of all these opportunities, it is necessary to have an active social life, and this is something that some people shy away from. There can be many reasons for this: shyness, lack of time, or lack of a strategy. Although there can be many reasons, these are insignificant, as it is much more important how you build up the largest possible social environment.

The magic word in this case is action! More precisely: Communication!

Whether you already have a rich social life or not, you can never have enough contacts! This fact applies not only to professional or business aspects, but to all areas of life. It never hurts to know a lot of people and have a large social network!

It’s even better if you know lots of people who appreciate you and support you at all times!

So how do you build such a social network?

The answer is simple: go out and start connecting with people – everywhere and at every opportunity!

However, making contact is not everything: you need to stay in people’s minds, preferably in a positive context. The surest way to achieve this is to be likeable, authentic and humorous. If you are likeable or come across as likeable and then make them laugh, they will remember you.

Now you could reply that you are anything but the communicative type and can’t imagine approaching people and making contact with them. This may well be the case, but there is only one reason for this:

Fear!

The only reason why someone is not communicative is fear. This can take many forms: Fear of rejection, fear of making a fool of yourself or fear of not being able to open your mouth. Either way, it is always fear.

Fear is always an illusion!

Open doors.

However: just as fear blocks your path to other people, love opens it for you! It doesn’t matter who you are, how intelligent you think you are, what education you have and whether you are fat, thin, tall or short! If you approach people with love, you will get their attention.

Of course, in this case too, exceptions prove the rule! There are people who are resistant to everything. They are so deep in fear that it is impossible for them to interact with others in any way. To protect themselves, they often behave in a dismissive, arrogant or even aggressive manner. Be prepared to meet people like this!

People have one thing in common: they are looking for love, and you can give it to them!

To build or expand your social network, you should only follow a very simple and natural strategy:

Try to make contact with every person you come into contact with ! It doesn’t matter whether this person seems important to you for your project, whether this person can give you any advantages or not. Firstly, all people are important! Secondly, you never know who knows who. Often contacts, solutions or ideas come from corners you would never have thought of!

Always try to start a conversation, no matter how meaningless it may be: a small comment about the weather, an appropriate compliment or a way that always works:

One question!

Those who ask get more out of life.

No matter how and where, you can always get in touch with people by asking them a question. Ask about the original time, the direction or anything else! Ask where someone bought something, if they happen to know where to find something specific or where to eat. It doesn’t matter what topic you choose! Only one thing is important: be friendly, communicate in love, be a little funny at best and above all be authentic, which will automatically include all the necessary qualities

– You will feel safe and have (self-)confidence

– You will express love in your communication, i.e. kindness, compliments etc.

– You will be in possession and give something to people

– You won’t expect anything

– You will do it for the sake of doing it

Getting in touch with people is really very easy. All you have to do is choose a topic that you can approach someone about or how you can spontaneously start a conversation. The first step is a friendly “Hello,” combined with eye contact and a smile! This will always get someone’s attention.

The next step is to make the people you are communicating with feel good. Your creativity is required here: make a little joke, just laugh, be cheerful and maintain eye contact. If you receive something from someone, e.g. a service such as a parcel delivery or a cashier, thank them kindly and wish them a great day!

This may all sound a bit silly or trivial, but if you observe people closely, you will notice that they hardly interact with each other. “Hello!”, “How are you feeling?”, “Have a nice day!” etc. You hear these things less and less these days. That’s why you stand out all the more when you approach people with friendliness and a smile.

You can really condition people to feel good when they see you!

Be in your I-frequency!

In practice.

Try the following for fun:

Go to the same supermarket 4-5 times this week and always try to pay the same cashier at the checkout. Always greet them with a clear and very friendly “hello” or “good afternoon”, and try to make them smile or laugh somehow.

If she tells you the final amount, you could reply (with a laugh): “I worked that out too!” or “For God’s sake, my heart!” etc. In today’s supermarkets you are often asked if you want to withdraw money when you pay with an EC card. When you are asked this question, you answer: “Yes! 20,000 € please. Never mind if it’s in small bills!” Etc.

It doesn’t matter how silly that may seem to you. It’s about the result!

You can also look for similarities and ask, for example, where she gets her hair cut, her nails done or where she bought an item of clothing. You could also simply ask about a product even though you know it’s available in the supermarket: “Do you actually have ….? I’ve been looking for it everywhere!” To the answer “Yes, it’s there and there.” you could reply: “Gosh, I’ve walked past it three times!”. Never forget to smile or laugh.

Replace the supermarket and the cashier in the example with any situation: the principle is always the same!

So there are a number of ways to establish a little communication and combine it with a positive feeling. Try it, even if you feel a little strange at first. If you don’t want to make jokes straight away, stick to a friendly greeting and goodbye with eye contact and a smile for the time being.

When you go to the supermarket at the end of the week, you will notice that the cashier will smile at you before it is your turn. She will recognize you and unconsciously remember the good feeling that the last encounter left her with.

Even if you didn’t go to the supermarket for months, the result would still be the same!

Building networks.

Now you might be wondering what a supermarket cashier has to do with your social network? The answer is, on the one hand, that all people deserve friendly and cordial communication and, on the other hand, that all people are important! And, you never know who knows who, and who you will meet where!

Apart from that, it’s good training to build up your communication skills if they’re not quite what you want them to be. Just try it out: approach all the people you come into contact with like this! Don’t just walk past them, but engage with them and make them feel comfortable!

If you feel confident doing this, you can intensify your communication by setting up smaller dialogs or, if the opportunity arises, entire conversations. Spontaneity is important, as is a genuine interest in what people are saying to you.

People are always looking for harmony, and if you show interest in their hobby, clothing or activity, you will give them that feeling. What’s more, you’ll also be giving them something else: Attention and appreciation!

You don’t have to actually be interested, but you can ask or talk with genuine interest! There is a difference! Even if you’re not interested in fly fishing or crocheting, you can still ask with interest what it’s all about and let people tell you about their passion. This will automatically make them feel good because they are talking about something they love!

This is what building networks is all about: try to make the people you interact with feel good! This is a guarantee that they will remember you!

If you start actively approaching and engaging with people on a daily basis, your social network will grow very quickly. Then you can focus on which people you really want to get to know, and why?

Would you like to get to know people who can be helpful to you professionally or in business – or you to them?

Would you like to meet people with whom you share a common hobby?

Would you like to meet people you can go out with or do other leisure activities with?

Ask yourself what you want and then go to the places where you can meet the people you want to meet!

If you are pursuing professional or business interests, sit down in a café or bar that is popular with business people. Attend an after-work event or lectures, seminars, exhibitions, etc.

If you want to get in touch with people who share your hobby, go where they are: Clubs, associations, gyms, exhibitions, etc.

If you would like to expand your circle of friends, go to places where people are communicative and do things together, such as a gym, nightlife, cooking classes or clubs.

Focus on what you want, go out and actively approach people!

Get in touch and try to make them feel good!

The quickest way to get there is to smile!

The power of action.

In addition to active communication, there are other factors that have a significant influence on your social network. If you are one of those shy and insecure people who are downright afraid of an active approach, this is due to your beliefs. You have beliefs that weaken you or make you believe that you are incapable of something.

You may also have beliefs that make you think that it is not appropriate to talk to strangers or that no one will be interested in what you have to say anyway. Another common belief is that you can’t be popular because you don’t conform to certain social norms

The list of possible beliefs is endless.

However, the decisive factor is not which obstructive beliefs you have, but which ones you will program next!

The fact is: everyone can communicate! Even you!

The only reason not to do this actively is, as already stated, fear. No matter what reasons you think you have for not being an active communicator, the real cause is fear!

It is therefore important that you act now and review your beliefs on this topic, identify the negative ones and replace them. Find out what you think is preventing you from being popular and well-liked. No matter what it is, it is an illusion!

However, there is one exception: you should make sure that you have a pleasant and well-groomed appearance. Smart clothes and a polite appearance will open almost any door for you! However, always remain authentic and don’t try to be someone you are not and don’t want to be!

Make sure that you don’t simply disturb people or approach them in inappropriate situations. It should always come naturally!

If you still have negative beliefs, then program a few new ones, go out and observe what you perceive.

Take the first step: communicate with someone!

This is how you program a new belief regarding your social life:

Hint: Use the tutorial worksheet to identify, define and program your beliefs.

It is important that you use your own words and expressions! Write the way you think!

1. Go into your I-frequency – think of someone you love or something you love.

2.Think about your social life. How do you feel when you think about your acquaintances, friends or your appearance etc.? Pay attention to how you feel, e.g. when you think about issues that affect your social life. How does your I-frequency react?

Your I-frequency becomes weaker:

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Note these thoughts under 1. This section describes how you have thought so far.

4. Now define thoughts for your new belief set that express the presence of a rich social life and the abundance of possibilities and opportunities. Formulate thoughts that fit your level: Statements that you can think and feel without resistance, i.e. your I-frequency remains constant or improves. Not all the way to the top!

Note these thoughts (as bullet points) under 5. in the worksheet This area describes how you want to think now.

Continue at point 5. here.

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5. Next, formulate how you want to feel when (experiencing) your social life and write it down under 2.

6. Then formulate what you would like to perceive in your social life and write it down under 3.

7. Now combine the points 2. and 3. into a single statement (can consist of several sentences!) and write them down under 4.

8. Combine Your statement 4. with the newly defined ideas / content 5. into your new belief (also as a statement!). Write it down under 6.

9. Write down your belief in as many places as possible. Write small pieces of paper and hand them out. Write the belief in a notebook and keep it with you at all times. The point is to remind yourself of your new belief as often as possible. You can also make yourself thought aids, such as small colorful dots to stick everywhere. Be creative!

10. Think only this new belief! Think it as often as possible, e.g. when you think about your social life, or when you notice that your I-frequency is getting weaker because you are worried about your popularity or your appearance etc. Whenever the topic of social life / friendship / circle of friends etc. is relevant.

11. You should act! Start and stay disciplined until your new belief is programmed and you notice that your social life – your perception of your social life – changes. Pay attention to whether you notice more opportunities to meet people or whether you have more contact with people in general!

Check your I-frequency regularly and correct your belief system if necessary.

12. Complete further tutorials, as everything is connected and your skills influence each other. It is therefore very important that you work on all your skills or achieve a high level of proficiency.

Your I-frequency shows you at any time where there is still a need for action.

Listen to them!