Absence and Presence.

Besides finances, partnerships are one of the most common causes of negative states – the loss of your I-frequency. From the absence of a partnership to dissatisfaction, cheating or injury: there is a whole range of effects that can put you in an unpleasant state and really sabotage your I-frequency.

While the range of possible effects, i.e. results, is very large, the list of causes is more manageable, because in the end the effect (your state) can always be traced back to your thinking.

No matter what the external circumstances may be, you alone decide how you want to think about them!

One of the most important characteristics of your natural thinking is the ability to decouple your thinking from external circumstances through your free will. This may be easy for you with certain topics, whereas it may lead to difficulties when it comes to partnerships. Yet it is so important to decouple yourself from events when it comes to this topic.

The reason why we find it more difficult to think rationally and logically in partnerships is that partnerships are naturally directly linked to love. We strive for love, and if we don’t get it or lose it in a partnership, it means a great loss or disappointment. It often means the loss of an important source of energy for us. Especially if we are (still) dependent on energy from outside!

But: Love is unconditional, and that logically means that it is not bound to any condition! This includes the conditions that someone loves you or that this person is present!

The problem of conditions.

Unfortunately, we often set conditions for our partners – without realizing it. As a result, the focus shifts from ourselves to someone else. To something that is outside of us – external circumstances! That someone loves us or that a person is present are two conditions or external circumstances over which we have no control. Therefore, we give other people unnoticed power over us and our I-frequency.

This is precisely the problem: if the focus remained on ourselves, external circumstances would not play a role. Not even the absence or lack of love from a partner. By changing our focus, we become dependent: we need our partner to feel good, to be happy and to maintain our I-frequency. One condition must be fulfilled for us to be happy.

There is a nice saying:

“If you can’t survive on your own, you can’t survive in pairs.”

There is a lot of truth in this: if you are not able to feel (unconditional) love on your own, to experience your I-frequency, you will not be able to do so in a couple either. You will automatically slip into conditional love when you enter into a partnership with someone – no matter what form of partnership – because you yourself are in conditional love! You need something outside of you to maintain your I-frequency or something outside of you can sabotage your I-frequency.

If you are not able to live your I-frequency on your own, then you will not be able to live it as a couple either. You may achieve it through your partner – the energy from outside – but you will not be able to maintain it. As soon as your partner leaves you, cheats on you, lies to you or upsets you in any other way, you will automatically lose your I-frequency.

The logic of love.

Of course, it is difficult to generalize or see things in black and white when dealing with such an emotional topic. Nevertheless, you can look at the issue from the rational aspect of logic. When you look at the issue from this perspective, you neutralize the cause that leads you to experience a loss of love when you lose a partner or your love is not reciprocated.

Unconditional love = an infinite amount of it (within you) finds its cause in your thinking – not in external circumstances!

You decide whether you want to experience it or not.

You decide what you want to focus on: the presence of love, or its absence.

If love is present within you, and there is no condition for its presence (except your thinking!), it doesn’t matter if it is present outside of you! You don’t need anything from the outside to experience love – to live your I-frequency!

The problem is therefore the condition of something outside of you: your partner: If he is present, you are well and you are in your ego. frequency. If it is not present, you are not well and you are not in your I-frequency!

A first important step would be to free yourself from the dependency or condition. However, you can only do this if you yourself are in unconditional love!

If you are in unconditional love, the loss or absence of a partner will naturally also make you sad or even angry, and possibly even hurt. However, if you focus on yourself, you will still be able to love this person.

Because love is unconditional!

Of course, this may not happen overnight, and it shouldn’t! However, it will help you not to get stuck in a negative state and to focus more quickly on what you want: living your I-frequency!

If you look at things with love, you will not hold on; you will let go!

If you look at things in love, you will not be afraid because love is absent; you will have love!

If you look at things in love, you will not notice any absence: You will notice presence!

Even if you have to realize that your partner is absent (in your outer reality), you will only notice the absence of this person: not the absence of love! This is a very important point! People come and go, love remains – no matter who comes or goes!

Love is always there! Whether you realize it or not!

Illusion of relevance.

When you are in a state of love, you are or feel trust. This means that you will feel that it is the way it is, but you will still know (trust) that it has no (negative) relevance for you. The presence or absence of your partner is not a condition for your happiness, because there is no condition for your happiness! Except your thinking, of course…

Happiness = love = unconditionality!

In other words: in practical terms, this means that you will be aware that losing your partner is not what you want. However, at the same time you will realize that this is not the end of the world. You will focus on love, i.e. on the fact that there are plenty of great partners in the world and that a fulfilling partnership is a wonderful thing. You will be able to focus on what you want. You will express your desires in statements that do not involve separation, lack or wanting and remain constant in your I-frequency.

The events, i.e. the external circumstances, will not have a (lasting) negative effect on you or your life!

Your focus is always on your I-frequency = love!

When love does not come.

Let’s look at the situation when one partner is present but love is not. This also happens frequently!

When we are looking for a partner, we often look for someone with certain characteristics (conditions). If we find someone who fits, we either experience love or not. However, when we experience it, it is often a form of conditional love, because it is tied to a person’s characteristics: the characteristics (conditions) that we were looking for. If these qualities disappear or change, our search criteria may no longer be fulfilled.

If you don’t fall in love, this is usually due to a perceived incompatibility of characteristics: e.g. the person doesn’t appeal to you visually, there are character traits that don’t appeal to you or you simply don’t fit together. Conditions are not met.

Now it is important to remember: love is unconditional. This means that, in principle, anyone could fall in love with anyone. However, this is hardly feasible with our highly socialized thinking. However, it does at least mean that you can love anyone unconditionally and that love in its nature is independent of the fulfillment of conditions or characteristics.

Conditions are something that we humans have invented!

Even if it is almost impossible for us to love unconditionally today, it would be very helpful to set fewer conditions! The more conditions we have, the more conditions can change again over time, i.e. no longer be fulfilled. The problem that arises from this is that we notice an absence as a result. This means that we realize that a desired condition is not (or no longer) present. Since we are focusing on absence, we will increasingly notice the absence of other conditions as a result. We then actually perceive the absence of conditions that previously played no role for us at all – because by setting conditions we have fallen into the states of separation, lack and wanting.

In a state of absence, you perceive absence – regardless of whether it is there or not!

You will then simply no longer perceive the presence of certain qualities. In the most extreme case, this leads to a perfect partner standing in front of you, but you only notice the absence of certain qualities that you had previously imagined in your mind – or you focus on absence, really look for it, because you think absence = lack thinking = separation = wanting!

Why do you think we have turned into a society full of singles?

When love leaves again.

If you find yourself confronted with the problem that you are together with your partner but the love has somehow disappeared, this has very similar causes:

When you met your partner, you were focused on presence: You were increasingly aware of the presence of certain qualities.

Over time, partly due to everyday life, your focus has shifted from presence to absence. One of the reasons for this could be that your life as such has pushed you in this direction or you have allowed yourself to be pushed! You have started to focus on absence as a result of certain events and experiences in your life: because somewhere in your life you have perceived separation, lack and wanting.

Something has “activated” your deficiency thinking – thinking of absence!

As a result, your focus on absence has also transferred to your love life (and probably other areas of your life). On the one hand, you cannot be in a state of absence (lack thinking) and experience presence at the same time. On the other hand, the states of separation, lack and wanting mean that you cannot be in a state of love. The one causes the other and therefore it is also a spiral into which we are often drawn unnoticed.

What happens in such a case is that you begin to increasingly perceive the absence of qualities in your partner instead of their presence. Your focus (thinking) is generally directed towards absence. Therefore, you can only perceive absence.

You start to focus (without consciously realizing it) on the absence of qualities, and this has consequences for your selective perception: you increasingly perceive absence! In practical terms, this means that you realize that something is missing in your partner or is not as you imagine it to be. One condition is no longer fulfilled.

If both partners in a partnership fall into this trap, it is of course extremely difficult to get out of it. Both then realize that the other is missing something that they would like to have!

Love is the solution.

The solution to this paradox is, of course, love: you should return your focus to love (I-frequency) and thus to presence. Then you will not notice a supposed absence, if it exists at all, because you will not perceive it. Your selective perception filters out the perception of absence. You will (again) increasingly perceive the presence of qualities, as your selective perception is programmed for this.

That’s one of the reasons why there are people who stay together happily for decades and grow together: they focus on love. They always focus on what they want, not on what they don’t want. They don’t set conditions, they don’t focus on absence, and they don’t notice changes or let them stop them from continuing to focus on love. Even if your partner’s characteristics change, you still love them, because love is unconditional.

Why do we always manage to love our pets unconditionally?

People change over the course of a lifetime, that is clear. However, if you look at some of the reasons for break-ups these days, you will often find that they are often caused by something totally irrelevant. Of course, a reason for breaking up, such as cheating, is understandable, but the cheating is only the effect! It is the result of the perception of an absence that has led to this absent quality being sought elsewhere.

If you do not perceive the absence of a characteristic in a partnership, there is no reason to look for this characteristic elsewhere!

When a couple was asked what the secret of their 60-year marriage was, they both answered in unison:

“People used to repair things, now they replace them.”

And that’s the way it is! As soon as the absence of a characteristic is noticed, you change your partner. There’s plenty to choose from on the Internet and everything will be better with a new partner!

However, this is almost always a mistake! If you never learn to fix things, you will never be able to fix them! This will always lead to people resorting to replacement at the slightest problem.

Love is unconditional. Recognizing this will save you a lot of suffering in your partnerships and, in turn, help you to have harmonious and fulfilling partnerships.

If you are looking for love.

Let’s look at another point that can trigger negative effects: You would like a partnership but can’t find a partner!

You can see this problem everywhere today because, as I said, we have become a society of singles. However, this is not because people don’t want partnerships. It’s because they think they can’t find a suitable partner.

! Because they set so many conditions !

Apart from the many conditions we set, which in many cases make it almost impossible to find a suitable partner, there is another problem: if you look, you won’t find! When you search, you confirm the absence of what you are looking for! Otherwise there would be no reason to look for it!

You’re only looking for something if it’s not there!!!

This makes it very difficult indeed to meet a suitable partner. Your selective perception blocks out suitable partners, and if you do meet someone, there’s a good chance that your conditions will sabotage all chances.

The fastest way to find a partner is not to look for one! Instead, you should focus on yourself and make sure that you express presence and love through your thoughts, beliefs and actions – live your I-frequency!

Keep the following in mind: You have to be the way you want to be if you want to be the way you want to be!

Think, feel and act as if you were in love. All you have to do is activate your I-frequency, because it is the pure state and expression of love. If you are not in your I-frequency, you are probably expressing separation, lack and wanting.

When you are “in love”, even if it is only with yourself (I-frequency) , you program your selective perception to the presence of love!

I think many people have experienced this at some point in their lives: you’re looking for a partner and at some point you just give up, only to suddenly meet someone at the bakery or in a café one day.

Searching means separation, because you only search when something is not present. In addition, you are expressing the opinion that you need what you are looking for in order to be happy – otherwise you wouldn’t be looking for it!

Let go, because letting go means love: you are expressing that you believe that you don’t need anything to be happy.

Love is of course very complex and can hardly be described in words. You can look at love with its inherent logic, but you can and should also bear in mind that there are things that cannot be explained and that life sometimes takes a strange course.

Nevertheless, you can have a not inconsiderable influence on your partnerships and, above all, ensure that partnerships do not control you (your I-frequency). You can do this by making sure that you program your beliefs accordingly and maintain your I-frequency.

Always formulate your beliefs in such a way that you express unconditional love, focus on being present and having! Let your selective perception do the rest for you!

Never forget: absence is always an illusion! Don’t fall for it!!!!

This is how you program a new belief regarding your partnerships:

Note: Use the tutorial worksheet to identify, define and program your beliefs .

It is important that you use your own words and expressions! Write the way you think!

1. Go into your I-frequency – think of someone you love or something you love.

2. Think about your partner. If you are not in a partnership, think about your desire to have a partner – or about the topic of partnership in general. Observe howyou feel when you think about your partnership, a possible partnership or someone you would like to have as a partner? How does your I-frequency react?

Your I-frequency becomes weaker:

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Note these thoughts under 1. This section describes how you have thought so far.

4. Now define thoughts for your new belief system that express the presence of a fulfilling – fear-free – partnership. Formulate thoughts that match your level: Statements that you can think and feel without resistance, i.e. your I-frequency remains constant or improves. Not all the way to the top!

Note these thoughts (as bullet points) under 5. This area describes how you want to think now.

Continue at point 5. here.

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5. Next, formulate how you want to feel in your partnership and write it down under 2.

6. Then formulate what you would like to perceive in your partnership and write it down under 3.

7. Now combine the points 2. and 3. into a single statement (can consist of several sentences!) and write it down under 4.

8. Combine Your statement 4. with the newly defined ideas / content 5. into your new belief (also as a statement!). Write it down under 6.

9. Write down your belief in as many places as possible. Write small pieces of paper and hand them out. Write the belief in a notebook and keep it with you at all times. The point is to remind yourself of your new belief as often as possible. You can also make yourself thought aids, such as small colorful dots to stick everywhere. Be creative!

10. Think only this new belief! Think it as often as possible, e.g. when you think about your partner, when you notice that your I-frequency is dropping because you are worried about your partnership, or when you are afraid of being alone or not having a partner etc. Whenever the topic of partnership is relevant.

11. Du should act! Start and stay disciplined until your new belief is programmed and you notice that your partnership – your perception of your partnership – changes. Observe whether your partnership strengthens or weakens your I-frequency. Check your I-frequency regularly and correct your belief system if necessary.

12. Complete further tests with the corresponding tutorials, as everything is connected and your skills influence each other. It is therefore very important that you work on all your skills. work or achieve a strong expression.

Your I-frequency shows you at any time where there is still a need for action.

Listen to them!